Sheila learns to be a Lady
Lucie Clayton 1977
We had group meeting before our holls & to my amazement Pip suggests I go to Lucie Clayton’s to prepare for the next show, I thought he was joking but apparently not. Lucy Clayton Charm academy and finishing school, is this my Eliza Doolittle moment ! Pip would never pay for this, it’s too expensive.
Day 1 : Sloane Square Lucy Clayton’s Charm Academy, this is worst than working for Pip. 20 strange girls all younger than me. The instructors put on a disco record told us to dance, get to know each other & left the room. I’m glad no one could see me. I hope it’s not all going to be like this for 3 weeks, still its only mornings.
Day 2 : We had to do a Paris turn today. Each girl walks across the room & teacher criticises each individual. She asked me how many children I had. I explained I had been to my Mums for the weekend & had ate a lot of cake, and had no children.
Day 3 : We had to learn how to get in and out of cars without showing our knickers. They actually had ½ a car for us to practice in. I asked how you do it in a Mini Moke or a big van, she wasn’t amused but the class were. We are all told to wear proper clothes & not turn up in jeans. I haven’t worn a skirt in years, must find one for tomorrow.
Day 4 : Had a lecture on going to dinner with one’s boyfriend. It’s a bit old fashioned. To leave potatoes, don’t smoke, only have 1/2 a glass of wine, not to put lipstick on at table. I think they mean don’t enjoy yourself. Good to know one won’t show one’s knickers when one gets in to his Sports car.
Fri : day 5 Horror! We had to sit in circle & explain why we had come to Lucie Clayton, I thought it best not to lie, I couldn’t think of an excuse so just said I’d been sent by my boss to behave like a lady. Seems like there’s a lot of rich very young girls here. Still, I’ve got pally with a 19yr old architect whose very skinny.
Mon : day 6 Had a lecture on teeth & plaque & cleaning 3 times a day & a film showing the inside of people’s mouth. We are all told to ask questions. I ask him about smokers toothpaste & he said to get rid of nicotine stains was not to smoke.
Tues : day 7 We do exercise each day & teacher asked if anyone knew any different exercises. I remembered the ones I did with Emil a clown and acrobat so volunteered, she called me to the front & after I showed the class 3 new exercises, she returned me to my place & said it was too dangerous. A lady from Elizabeth Arden came later & told us how to wash.
Weds : day 8 Make up today. Went in to a room full of mirrors & tons of make-up. The teacher came up behind me & looked at my reflection & gave me the address of where to gets the bags under my eyes removed & to get my white heads out. CHEEK! after that she made up half my face & I had to copy exactly the other half. Felt inclined to do something silly but didn’t. However, the completed look supposing to make us look young and beautiful, made me look like Barbara Cartland. Felt embarrassed on the tube in case I should meet anyone I knew.
Thurs : day 9 Can’t get this wretched make up off. They want us to wear it every day but I’ve got to draw a line somewhere. Had nail inspection today & lessons in applying nail varnish. They suggested I buy false nails. Next week we have to do our “turning out ceremony “but next week rehearsals start for our next show “Red Death” in Battersea, I’m going to get out of this fashion parade if I can.
Fri : day 10 Phone Pip saying its not really working, best I come back to rehearsals, he thinks I should see it through to the end. We had to be weighed today and walked across the room with books on our head
Mon : day 11 Lucie Clayton in the morning & Battersea rehearsals in afternoon, I did my Clayton bit & met the group in a Battersea pub, they have started rehearsals, 3 new faces & Roderic’s permed his hair. I think he should stand in at Lucie’s Clayton’s for me. Rowen has returned.
Tues : 12 The Charm academy suggest because its Wimbledon week, we do a fashion parade in tennis gear & our favourite dress, had a practice with disco music where we all walk up & down a cat-walk Paris turn and smile, bigger smile please they keep saying & then go to our places. They videoed us and made us watch. Somebody else asked how many children I had
Weds : Day 13 Our fashion Parade is on Friday & I told Pip it wasn’t worth seeing. He insisted it was worth seeing & asked how many could come. The whole group wanted to come but teacher sais only 4. I tried to persuade Pip I would be more useful in Battersea rehearsals but he obviously didn’t think so.
Thurs : day 14 Rehearsals for fashion parade, we are told where to stand, lucky me I’ve got a mantel piece I can lean on. Still trying to put Pip off coming.
Fri : day 15 I was more nervous than I can remember. Pip Helena Rod and Chris arrived, they all wore suits & really stuck out amongst all the proud Mums and Dads. Pip with his beard and mustachio, Rod looked like a bouncer in his black suit, Helena looked nice and Chris in his only suit which was yellow, they didn’t look like my parents sitting there on the little dainty seats in second row, I wouldn’t have minded but …..…..
I cant find the last page …….. I’m still looking 45 years later; but this much I do remember; The Method of Pip Simmons nothing is wasted, this off the wall prep idea could come in really handy. The next show is after all Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Masque of the Red Death” Poe’s women are often mentally strong with an oh-so-desired feminine frailty, he even endows his female characters to such an extent making them not less than males or equal to males but exceeding that of the men !
Bring on the Girls !!!