Homeward Bound, last leg of the tour
The Pip Simmons Theatre Group is just that: it’s a group. They have no theatre and are on the last leg of a six-month European tour of France, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Belgium, Holland and Germany.
Rod, who plays Dracula also drives the tour van; and Roderic, who plays The Ridiculous Man also drives the tour van, they take turns driving us in the blue Mercedes van whilst we — Meirav, Dick, Chris, John and I — throw paper pellets at each other and squabble over where to sit. Chris has the best seat in the front because he speaks a bit of French and German — useful when going through the many border crossings. We call him the Carnet Führer.
Roderic in the drivers seat, Chris with a pocket full of passports, another ferry port homeward bound
Each border has to have the carnet stamped. 50 pages duplicated 3 times. One to keep, the other two for the customs officials of the two countries we are leaving and entering. Everything in the van has to be accounted for with a special theatre licence for the gun to prove it isn’t a weapon plus special papers for three doves and Dave the cockerel. These borders take time, loads of time. Norway/Sweden – Sweden/Denmark – Denmark/Holland – Holland/France – France/Belgium – Belgium/Germany and so on!
If it’s getting late we race to join the back of a queue of lorries before the border closes. Money has been known to change hands. If we don’t make it in time, we have to find a hotel, stay in a place we don’t want to be, and then start queuing at border control the next day. We sit quietly, best behaviour. It doesn’t take much for border control guards to find an excuse to haul us out the van.
Our van is the small one far right, but size doesn’t matter, this van takes us along perilous icy roads to freezing places, traveling along endless autobahns to hot sunny places and then back again. Everything we own is in this van!
Loading the van: Dave the cockerel and the doves who need to be fed and watered en route; Emil, John, Roderic, Meirav and Dave the cockerel
Chris, John, Dick, Emil, Pete, Pip, Roderic, Rod and Olly waiting, waiting for theatre to open
We arrive in the afternoon and wait for the theatre to open. Then we unload, choose a dressing room, put the kettle on, set up, do a sound check, iron costumes, set the props, feed the livestock, go for a walk, look around for somewhere to eat, buy a postcard. If it’s Sunday, we stay in the theatre as nowhere is open, EVER.
If it is not Sunday, we go for a walk, visit the town, eat and shop and see what is around the corner, get back a couple of hours before the show, warm up, do hair and make-up — not that there is much of that — check props, change into our costumes, check the stage for nails, holes and uneven surfaces, check exits and entrances and wait for an audience.
Olly and Meirav wait in the wings The Dream
The tour is coming to an end. The van careers towards Nice, as soon as we see the sea a bottle of our finest plonk is opened and passed around, it’s been a long long drive from Denmark and we’ve run out of things to fight about. It’s time to have a shower, find the bars and restaurants, the sea, the warm climate, stretch the legs and wake up !
We perform at the Palace Theatre in Nice, it’s a short walk to a small hotel which is a short walk to a pebble beach and a short walk to the hills behind the hotel which happens to be the red light district. Pretty prozzies in white thigh-high boots sending out signals; the boys linger ……. the tour ends in Avignon, we are bushed.
Olly, Sheila and John, ferry Calais – Dover and then home
This tour has lasted 8 months, we are wacked and head for the bar on the ferry, we always head for the bar on the ferry, too exhausted to party, just a slow goodbye. Goodbye Emil Wolk, Goodbye Meirav Gary, Goodbye Pete Jonfield, and Goodby Dave the cockerel who has to have a lethal injection, the doves survive to fly another day. A new show, a new team a new experience is on the horizon……
All photos and blog © Sheila Burnett